Similes... Finally the Humor of the Essay

Hey yall!

For anyone who has ever written a paper, we all know that similes "provide a picture for the mind" or "describe what you are trying to say" and all that junk. Some people really possess the skill. I don't know if anybody has heard of this man, but he is great at similes. He is this guy named Shakespeare. "Death lies on her like an untimely frost," he uses in his story "Romeo and Juliet". Who else could come up with something so thought-provoking and beautiful? It makes me want to shed a tear like a cloud full of rain. Well, I might not have the skill, but this other guy named Charles Dickens came up with one that us humans use a lot. "As good as gold," he says in his story "The Christmas Carol". Yeah, yeah, it's a metaphor, but you get my point. It describes what he is saying perfectly. His words are smooth like Asian silk. Well, that wasn't a good one either... Here, let's make me feel better. Here are some other not-so-good ones that people have used in their high school essays...

*The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

*Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

*Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

*Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

*He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

*John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

*The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

*The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of "Jeopardy!"

*The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

*She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

*The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

*It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

*She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

*It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

And just so yall know, I didn't write these.

Hope yall enjoyed!

-favs

http://www.bukisa.com/articles/45485_famous-simile-poems (I googled "Famous Similes" and this was one of the first websites that came up.)

http://mistupid.com/people/page027.htm (same as above.)

So This is What the Afterlife's Like...

Hey Yall!

I know it seems like I don't like any books and I am way too critical from my last few blogs, but that isn't true. I guess I have just been choosing the wrong ones. I finished my previous book, Jay's Journal by Beatrice Sparks, and it was... creepy, to say the least (see last blog).

I started a new book, Everlost by Neal Shusterman, and it is AWESOME. I keep finding that whenever I read it, it is so hard to put it down! The ironic thing is, though, is that I am supposed to do a critique for this blog. So I am going to try to find all of the low points of this really awesome book. Here goes.

Well, I am only about halfway done, so I guess I have a few things to say. One thing is that one of the main characters, Allie, is way too stuck up and thinks she knows it all. The ruler of one division of Everlost, Mary, literally knows what's best and what's bad in Everlost. Yet Allie, a newcomer, wants to challenge everything that Mary says because Allie wants to prove something. I guess that it's good to have a dream and all, and you are supposed to strive for all that you can be and that sort of stuff, but it gets kind of annoying to read about a girl who thinks a little too highly of herself. Although it gets a little agitating, it adds to her character. She would just be another girl and the story would not be as interesting if it didn't have this little twist. Also, the plot would be totally different.

Another thing that can get a little annoying is the coincidence of everything in the story. It just so happens that when you think that something is going to die, "whoops it's impossible to get hurt in this world" or "her friend, who she completely dissed earlier, just came out of nowhere to save her life and suddenly got the mammoth strength to pull her out of the ground" or "just as she was about to die, she figured out something that even the greatest monster had not figured out; it was possible to crawl inside another body to save yourself". It is the reason why the story keeps going, yet it is why everything seems to work perfectly. It's kind of like a movie; things happen that would never happen in real life. Then again, this is a story about the afterlife...

Nonetheless, this is a really good book and although I am only halfway done with the book, I would definitely recommend it to other readers. I am not usually a science-fiction type of person, but this book is good for people who like all genres.

-Favs

Witchcraft and Satanism and Dropping Grades, Oh My

Hello again!

Today in class, I just finished the book "Jay's Journal" by Beatrice Sparks (see previous blog). I'm not going to lie, the book had some pretty weird things involved, to say the least. Well, not necessarily "weird", just very... different than what I am accustomed to. So I am going to start this off with a really brief summary.

The book was about this kid, "Jay", who was the perfect student who made great grades, strong Christian, very loyal, and so on. Well, he starts dating this girl who is different than what he's used to, but he kind of likes it. That is how he starts getting involved in witchcraft. His girlfriend, Tina, was really into it and had all the equipment and everything needed, so he decided that he would just try it out. Things start going downhill from there. He starts becoming depressed and, at the end of the downward spiral, he starts to worship Satan. He does things that he would have never normally done. For example, he went on a hunting trip with his friends and after they shot a bull, he drinks the blood directly from the dead animal.

Personally, I think that's nasty. Also, he believed he had the power to bring things back to life, so on his wedding day with Tina (while he was still in high school, mind you), his friend brings in a cat and wrings its neck until its dead. It turns out that they didn't have the power, after all. This book was really weird, creepy, and depressing if you aren't used to this kind of thing (which I am not). Jay does things that are completely different than his old lifestyle.

*IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK, IGNORE THE NEXT SENTENCE; IT IS A SPOILER FOR THE BOOK.*

After his brother, Chad, walks into his room at the end of the book and says, "Who are you? I feel like I don't know you anymore," Jay commits suicide with a gun at his right temple.

I know pretty much nothing at all about witchcraft and Satanism, so I decided to do a little research on the topics. I went to witchcraft.com first because I thought "Hey, where's a better place to start?" It turns out, this is a place where people post their spells and questions. It was really weird to think that people are talking about this sort of stuff still today. I think of witchcraft being with those old, ugly green witches with the big cauldrons in fairy tales. People have spells to get rid of anger, find love, and get free wishes. This website is mainly where people post things, so I know it isn't too reliable, but might as well start at witchcraft.com. You had to make a username/password account on the website to view more, but I decided against it.

Next I went to witchcraft.com.au. It claimed that it had spells for everything; money, love, health, marriage, revenge, death... you get the picture. It said that witchcraft today was closer to wicca, which means "wise" or "bend". That means that you can cast spells on living and inanimate objects. They are a "irresistible and dominating influence, which wields great power over the natural world." I'm not too sure about this... I think I am going to leave my research at that.

Now onto Satanism. It turns out that there is an actual Church of Satan! I had no idea about any of this. Whether I have been living under a rock or it's not that big, I don't know. Well, the church website, www.churchofsatan.com, has a lot of information about it. People who carry the "red cards" that are associated with the Church of Satan have the powers that the devil was originally able to do. They try really hard to not come in contact with "non-members". People are not allowed to visit the actual structure, join in with daily rituals, or even talk with any of them. They did document their rituals on DVD on 6-6-06 in Los Angeles so people interested/writing papers/researching could see what's going on. People are not expected to get along with each other, so people can totally bash each other out whenever they feel like it, even in the church. It is very hard to become a member, and the registration fee is $200!

This was also starting to creep me out, so I think I am done with this research today. I hope that yall learned something. What do yall think of these practices? Has anyone ever done any of them? Please comment!

-Favs

Please note that I do not have anything against people who actually practice these rituals.

Beatrice Sparks: Fo Realz or Rumor?

Hey Everyone!

From my last post, it is kind of apparent that I didn't really like the book "Friend Me". So, I switched books. I am currently reading a book called "Jay's Journal", written by anonymous but edited by Beatrice Sparks. It is about this student who makes straight A's, high GPA, perfect kid. He makes the wrong people and eventually discovers Satanism. He kills innocent kittens, slays bulls and drinks their blood, and many other awful things. Eventually, he commits suicide. I have read its predecessor "Go Ask Alice", a very controversial book also written by anonymous yet edited by Beatrice Sparks. Both are rumored not to be true stories, while Beatrice Sparks claims otherwise.

I decided to do a little research to find the root of the controversy. Well, it turns out that a lot of people don't believe her books are actual diaries (as stated on the front of the books) and are mainly influenced by fictional events. Beatrice Sparks is a psychiatrist who deals with troubled teenagers when she isn't writing/editing. She claims herself to be "Dr." Beatrice Sparks, but there is no actual proof and no found records of her doctorate degree. When she was asked about this, she gave very vague details. If you were already doubting her, this was not a very good fighting argument.

Many people believe that her books are not written by actual teenagers because of the language. Not the literal language as in English or Spanish, but as in age language (a teenager talks differently than a senior citizen). In "Go Ask Alice", the writer (supposedly a teenager) uses very large words, like the kind that would be on a spelling test and words expected to be used in a formal paper. Most teens would use words like those when required, but not in a diary only meant for her eyes only. Also, all of her books have underlying moral tones that imply "always listen to your parents" and "never do what everyone else is doing". If a teenager was writing in her diary and is always agreeing with her parents and not giving into peer pressure and ends up in the situations that they do, then that is just plain strange. Every kid thinks they are the smartest thing to hit this planet at one point or another. Most of the characters in the books are where they are due to peer pressure. And then to be saying "don't do it just because everyone else is" is so contradictory.

In "Go Ask Alice", the girl who wrote it goes on for four pages about her drug experience when someone slipped LSD into her drink at a party, yet only talks about her only true love breaking her heart for two paragraphs. That is 1/3 of a page!!! It seems like something like true love would be a pretty important factor in one's life, especially if they broke their heart and one needs to vent about it. Also, there is almost no he-said/she-said in the diary, something to be expected in any 15-year-old girl's conversations.

Every single person in the book who is involved with drugs with their described home life seems to come from a broken home and a dysfunctional family. It seems kind of ironic, doesn't it? The ending of the book states that 3 weeks after finishing the diary, the girl commits suicide by overdosing on drugs. Later, in an interview, Beatrice states that she did not commit suicide but died of unknown causes. If she changed the ending, the most important part of a book like this, then what else did she mess with?

In the back of her book "Go Ask Alice", it actually has text that says, “This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.” That is actual proof of her fictional inserts. But that is only one book, so we have no proof of her doing this to her other books. This hasn't been publicized very much, though, because "Go Ask Alice" is one of the most controversial books in the 20th century, not due to its fictional inserts, yet because of the heavy mentioning of drugs and other bad influences. It has been temporarily banned from many libraries through the years, so the book actually has a history.

The book is still listed under "non-ficion", despite what has been uncovered. I believe that the public partially doesn't want to believe that the book is fake. Now onto "Jay's Journal". The book is the "diary" of a boy named Alden who is a perfect kid and all that, turns to Satanism (as I mentioned earlier), and ends up committing suicide at age 16. The mom of Alden decided that "Dr." Beatrice was the person to give her son's journal to, so she turned in her son's journal to be published. After it was published, though, Alden's family was horrified because the majority of the book was not true! She said that Beatrice had made up several false entries and that most of the stuff said in the book was stuff that had never happened. Beatrice's response was that she got a lot of the information from interviews with Alden's friends.

So, what do you think? Are the books what they are said to be (real), or are they just a hyped-up lie to teach teens how to act? Do you think that this information should be more publicized to show that a lot of this doesn't actually happen? Should the morals be left to the parents to teach? Please comment your opinion!

-Favs

Sources:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatrice_Sparks

(although Wikipedia isn't a great source since people can edit it, I decided it was a good starting place to see a general overview.)

http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/askalice.asp

(Snopes is usually a good, reliable website to find fact from fiction. Generally, they have the correct information.)

http://www.linagoldberg.com/goaskalice.html

(I have never heard of LinaGoldberg.com, but it had the same information that the other two websites had, so I assumed that it was correct, although that probably isn't the best thing to do. Also, it was mainly facts about the books.)

My First Blog! "Friend Me" (but not literally)

Hey everyone!

I just started a book called "Friend Me" (hence the title) by Cathy Hopkins. There are three books in this one; there is one for each of the three main characters, who are best friends. Right now, I'm not really digging it. I finished the first book of three today about a girl name Lucy. It was pretty much just really whiney and annoying. Half the time she was complaining that she was too short or her hair was too mousy or that she doesn't fit in, although she has 2 best friends. She seemed like she complains all of the time and is pretty selfish. It was the cliché type of thing because when she doesn't feel like she's fitting in, POOF her friends come along and tell her that she's amazing and what not. Also, she hates her hair, so she gets it cut. Guess what? She hates it. Hmm... I did not see that one coming... psh... NOT. So easy to foresee. But compared to the rest of the book, it was the most unpredictable part.

The book is in British English, such as using the word "mate" when describing a friend or saying "colour" vs. "color". This is not necessarily a downside, it's just more of an adjustment to make. And some things, it is hard to know what it really is because it uses a different word than we use here in the USA. One huge disappointment was not in the story itself, but the spelling and grammar used. I found a countless number of typos and grammatical errors. Some of them, I just thought that it was a British word, but when I Googled it to make sure, nothing came up. One silver lining to this problem, though, is feeling good about yourself when you find a typo. It makes you think that you are smarter than the writer and the editors. :)

Maybe (hopefully) my view on this book of 3 will change as I read the next book, but so far the book gets a D-. Haha, now I bet that I'M sounding too whiny about the book... Has anyone else read the book? If so, please leave your comments! I would love to hear what yall have to say. Also, comment even if you haven't, like if you have any questions or comments on my post/what the books seems to be like.

-favs